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English Premier League (Almost) Closes


Conspiracy theorists in the Yalla office are viewing Sunday’s incident at Old Trafford with suspicion. Minutes before kick off in the Manchester United v Bournemouth game, parts of the stadium were evacuated following the discovery of an “incredibly lifelike explosive device” in toilets. The game was abandoned and will now be played on Tuesday evening. The “bomb” was in fact a dummy left behind after a security training exercise sometime last week. Someone is going to be out of a job this morning.


To matters on the pitch, where Manchester City’s draw with Swansea was enough for them to secure the final Champions League position (unless United win by a margin of  19 goals on Tuesday!). With the title already secured by Leicester City, and Aston Villa, Norwich and Newcastle confirmed drop down a division, the only other games of consequence involved Arsenal and Tottenham, local rivals desperate to finish second.


In the end Arsenal’s 4-0 demolition of Aston Villa secured the bragging rights. Tottenham’s 5-1 humbling by Newcastle may be enough to convince Rafa Benitez to remain in the north east next season. Newcastle fans desperately hope so.

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